and just to make sure certain people who really aren't helping me but are trying to make it look like they are by encouraging me to go BACK in my rehabilitation progress- i wanna make sure that people know that i would MUCH RATHER be volunteering at sabathani community center rather than hauling my ass mindlessly to some sad excuse of a "rehabilitation institute" just so my family members who really don't give a damn about what I want can look encouraging and supportive of me just going on some stupid fucking machines that my living room wall could operate and be paid for it because that's where my kewliez cousin's in-law works and she'll be enabled to pay attention to me at her OWN CONVENIENCE. when a person who is obviously trying to walk again goes to therapy- they have different stages. i've already done those stupid machines in courage kenny that a person sits in and pushes their feet back and forth while holding onto some bars and pushing and pulling them at the same time. after about 2 or 3 times a week- monday, wednesday, and friday for every week for about 3 or 4 years- IT GETS SICKENING. YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T HAVE EMPATHY IF YOU EXPECT A PERSON TO DO THIS SHIT DURING THAT TIME AND STILL FEEL MOTIVATED TO DO THAT SHIT- WHILE HAVING THE SAME RIDICULOUS EXCUSE OF A REHAB. INSTITUTE FAIL YOU THREE TIMES WHEN YOU TAKE THE BEHIND-THE-WHEEL TEST TO GET YOUR LICENSE AGAIN. THEY HAD KNOWLEDGE THAT WAS ONE OF MY GOALS IN THERAPY AND THEY'RE JUST TAKING ADVANTAGE OF IT BECAUSE EVERY DAMN TIME I'VE TAKEN THE BEHIND-THE-WHEEL TEST AT COURAGE KENNY- THEY ALWAYS CLAIM I NEED "MORE THERAPY". i know of people who CAN'T walk and courage kenny STILL managed to give them their LICENSE.. why's that you ask? BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY HAVE ADVOCACY THAT PREVENTS COURAGE KENNY FROM LYING AND CLAIMING THEY NEED "MORE THERAPY" EVERY TIME THEY TAKE THE DRIVING TEST- COURAGE KENNY IS ABLE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY LACK OF ADVOCACY AND CARE! i refuse to go back to that fuckin joke of a rehabilitation institute. my grandma LIED and said amanda would advocate for me to get my license again (along with get me to new york). it's just not convenient for amanda to do what she CLAIMED to her aunt she'd do. i usually said that my grandma will deal with you in heaven but i'm really not sure you're going to the same place she went- just judging by your neglect and careless attitude towards me along with your political views which DO affect the values you have. so good luck. you have something less to do! you're not keeping me ANYWHERE I don't wanna be. no matter how much my careless, selfish mother wants me to be at because YOU CAN'T JUST PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DAUGHTER WHEN IT'S BENEFICIAL AND CONVENIENT FOR YOU. you NEVER seemed to give a shit that i wanted to move to new york when grandma was alive and when you'd leave me at your apartment ALONE while i was still paraplegic and while you went to the bar to go play pool with your little boyfriend carlos. WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT ATTITUDE? just because you can't fuckin do anything with your own life- doesn't mean I have to live a life that YOU would've always wanted to live. you're definitely not interested in the same things i am. haven't you and amanda done ENOUGH damage to me? i've had to have at least TWO surgeries on my bowel on account of your selfish fuckin ass, mom. amanda just condones this abuse.. so i know she ain't going where my grandma is after she's gone.
my ics worker assisted me in looking for vehicles online today since i need a vehicle to practice driving before i take my behind-the-wheel test. i found one or two so far- they just need to message me back if they're still available. i have a few more months until i need to get my permit renewed and i'm hoping to be able to take my behind-the-wheel test for my license around that time.
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